She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i think i just lost a toe
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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