So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize