Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
