one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
