I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
