O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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