I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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