quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
These tits shall not be calmed
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