I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
