but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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