Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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