curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Rumble strips road head = magical
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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