It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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