She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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