Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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