I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
