He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
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So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
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IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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