I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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