I love black thongs
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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