I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
