Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
