Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I believe in your delicious
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
