There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
