are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize