I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
