dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I understand Curling. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
we should paint friendship bongs
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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