butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
