I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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