i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
