i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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