yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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