I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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