I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize