I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
