someone threw a dead crab at me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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