Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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