I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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