evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
