just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
