The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Boobs are out for the taking
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
