time to smoke my breakfast
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
