did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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