You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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