Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
