Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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