Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Randomize
