Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
