so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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