I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
