I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
