Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
