maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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