I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ladies don't puke and tell
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
