CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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