hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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