She is in my trunk
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize