I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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