Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The ass gains better be worth it
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
