I've blown a few things in my day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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