singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
