yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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