I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
