But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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