did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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