Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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