I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
