We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
