I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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