Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
